This means we’ll explore what’s underneath the symptoms that are troubling you and make the unconscious elements of your challenges more conscious. For example, early in life, you may have developed a sense that it's not okay to feel certain emotions like anger or even happiness. You may have learned that it's not okay to rock the boat…you're responsible for caretaking other people in particular ways…your value comes from your performance…or you must choose between authenticity and connection. These inner prohibitions cut people off from parts of themselves and contribute to many of the reasons people seek therapy, yet they often operate without our full awareness. Since it's very difficult to change something you're not aware of, bringing these to light is a powerful step. By illuminating these harder-to-see aspects of your inner world, you can gain perspective and distance from unhelpful but deeply set ways of being, begin to get unstuck, and leave more of the past behind you. Attending to the impact of formative experiences in your family of origin is usually an important aspect of this approach.

This modality also emphasizes the therapeutic relationship that develops between the client and practitioner. If relationships contributed to the problems you’re experiencing, then relationships also have a part to play in healing. This includes not just family of origin and romantic relationships; it also extends to the therapeutic alliance emerging between us. Often, the feelings that arise in the therapy dyad reflect other key dynamics in your world, which gives us an opportunity to work on core issues experientially and in real time.

To learn more about why this approach yields lasting benefits, I recommend this article or this video.

Mindfulness means being radically present: witnessing and observing your experience just as it is, without judging, avoiding, or trying to fix or change it. In other words, rather than just describing or mentally processing a particular event, you’re actually sensing your experience of it directly. Mindfulness has been consistently shown to reduce stress, alleviate anxiety and depression, and improve well-being; it’s one of the most powerful tools psychology has for regulating emotions (changing how a person feels). I incorporate mindfulness in secular, accessible and down-to-earth ways that are suitable for individuals of any or no religious/spiritual background.

Mindfulness has many different applications in therapy:

• In order to shift an unwanted feeling, it’s sometimes necessary to feel it more intensely, until it transforms into something different. Taking a few moments to observe, accept and allow unwanted emotions is often the first step to feeling better.

• It can be difficult to change unwanted behaviors or reactions that feel automatic and happen quickly (for example, self-destructive behaviors or having the same type of argument with your partner over and over). Mindfulness allows you to slow down and notice your internal process with more subtlety; it helps you discover opportunities to interrupt your usual reactions and make different choices.

• We tend to get stuck in certain ways of being, often repeating the same thoughts, assumptions and reactions over and over. Present-moment awareness helps people break out of ruts to discover new perspectives and strengths.

• Depression often keeps us trapped in the past, and anxiety usually concerns what’s going to happen in the future. Strengthened awareness of the present moment can be a helpful counterbalance.

• One component of mindfulness is Mindful Self-Compassion, which is the ability to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show to a good friend. This has been shown to help people bounce back more quickly from difficulties and lead to a more positive and stable self-image. It also helps people refrain from the self-criticism that makes tough times harder than they need to be.
  

Mindfulness can show up in the room in several different ways:

• At times I guide specific practices such as RAIN and Mindful Self-Compassion, which are helpful for regulating emotions, working with shame, and in other situations.

• I may facilitate a few moments of mindful centering as a way to help you transition into or out of session feeling grounded and calm.

• In certain situations, I may facilitate inner explorations in mindfulness involving the use of dialogue and guided imagery.

• Throughout therapy, my questions, responses and way of listening are guided by my own mindful awareness, and I often invite clients to observe their present-moment experience as well. At certain points in session, I might invite you to pause to simply notice your emotions and physical sensations in the present moment.

Our minds are complicated and contain many different internal ‘parts.’ If you’ve ever criticized yourself excessively, overreacted to a situation without understanding why, or had strong negative feelings about someone that you recognized were unreasonable, you’ve experienced this quality of the mind.

Parts work and Internal Family Systems (IFS) involve mindfulness, inner inquiry and active imagination in order to work with these different parts of you. Long-held emotions can be released, deep-set internal patterns can be brought to light, and surprising and valuable self-knowledge is often gained through the process. IFS is an experiential and evidence-based trauma therapy in which we work directly with the roots of many challenges. For example, this may include working with your inner child, inner critic, an addictive behavior, or a persistent unwanted emotion. I really enjoy parts work because of the catharsis, self-discovery and meaningful shifts that can occur.